Inside Out

drown in sorrow
relish joy
laugh at anger
it's your toy

dance with lightning
once again (a-gane)
eat up thunder
ignore pain

melting into a little puddle of colored wax
i pull back the curtain
sweep out the dark corners of the
attic of my
mind

live for moments
such as these
hug me kiss me
love me please

fingernail clippings
stab my heart
see me shaking
ripped apart

i have dared to bite the vampire
howl at the werewolf
stomp on cliches

i have managed to relinquish my power
admit my accomplishments
glare at mistakes

dream of a better world
a different world
a new world
dream of awakening
forsaking peace
attempting war

laugh at yourself
but not at me
i'll kill you if you do
of all this advice
you must remember
to thine own self be true

Peace

none of it
in this house

Stupid Little Wish

i wish i could understand myself
i wish i could dissect my thoughts
psychoanalyze my feelings
but i can't

Little Story

the girl chopped off her hair one day
it was blond and straight and silky
but she cut it short and
permed it and
dyed it dog-crap brown
the girl got brown contacts one day
to cover her brilliant blue eyes
she also got glasses
with thick lenses
the girl had reverse liposuction done one day
she also ate a lot of fattening food and
never exercised and
had surgery to shorten her long skinny legs
the beautiful girl uglified herself one day
just for the heck of it
to see what living like the other kind was like
so she could have even more mixed pity and contempt for them
but wait a second
this is the real world
like THAT would ever happen in reality

Way Back When

when i was little i was cute
when i was little i was innocent
when i was little i told my piano teacher that one day i wanted to be
discovered
but i didn't tell her what that meant
i don't remember saying that
when i was little i kicked butt
when i was little i was afraid of water
but now i don't think it was the water i was afraid of
it was the deep dark unknown of the plunge
when i was little i was skinny
when i was little i was different
still am different
always will be different
not much difference there
ha
when i was little i never got zits
when i was little i didn't love
i didn't know what to love meant
i still don't know what it means
when i was little i cried
and cried
and cried
when i was little i was red
but now i'm black
when i was little i never got guilty
never felt ashamed
never hated myself
when i was little i was living
when i am big...
now i remember

Casablanca=Awesome Old Movie

okay
secret about me
i like romantic chick flicks
don't get me wrong
i love comedies too
and action movies
and horror
omigod
i love horror movies with a passion
but
when the music swells up and the heroine and hero kiss
well
i
am envious
yes
but also strangely happy
oh and
heads up
i watch desperate housewives too

OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY 43-YEAR-OLD AUNT HAD TWIN GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unbearable

crushing
disappointment
makes me want to
cry
gnashing
my teeth in pain
i let out a
sigh
regret
bitter hopes crushed
wish i was a
guy
not quite
at the stage yet
that i want to
die

All Alone=Awesome Song By Gorillaz

i
feel
alone
no one
reads
my BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't Say I Have

ever been loved?
can't say i have.
ever been liked?
can't say that either.
ever been hated?
one word-yes.
ever been dated?
if you can call it that.
ever been flirted with?
nope, not really.
ever been f***ed with?
yes, most definitely.
ever wanted to cry?
only all the time.
ever wanted to die?
only a couple of times.
ever felt like escaping?
who hasn't?
ever felt like being discovered?
wouldn't you like to know...