15 Minutes In A Tree

i have to get away tonight
or i will start to cry
my mom and i have had a fight
unknown the reason why

quietly out the front door i slip
with hardly any noise
over a large root i trip
for i possess no poise

i stomp over to my favorite tree
the tears already streaming
it is so dark i bump my knee
while wishing i am dreaming

i swing up in the branches thick
and settle down to rest
i award myself a mental kick
for not keeping my cool and passing the test

cold in jeans and a short sleeved shirt
i hug myself to keep warm
watch two shadowy figures across the street flirt
while preparing myself for the coming storm

i sing to myself to ward off my fears
but falter when i'm overheard
maybe that man walking down the street hears
but thinks only i'm an off-key bird

my neighbor exits his house next door
my dog begins to bark
her racket he cannot ignore
i watch without moving eyes shining in the dark

he calms her down as he walks to his backyard
i hold my breath and wait
whatever he's doing must not be hard
because he comes around front shortly after closing his back gate

he reenters his house
still without noticing me
and i breath a sigh of relief
that i blended so well with my tree

i look up at the branches where we sat
and reflect on better days
before i got so fat
and went through this teenager phase

you told me that you loved me
i told you i loved you
friends forever you said we'll be
but that's sadly not coming true

you (different you) now cross my mind
i wonder how you feel
now that he's being so kind
and even went so far as to kneel

the good times we've had
the talks we share
life doesn't seem as bad
when you tell me you care

you (different you) remember that poem i wrote
quickly at the beginning of the year
i scribbled crossed out wrote and rewrote
made it new beautiful clear

i dedicated it to you
not that you'll ever know
what have my efforts gotten me?
for them i have nothing to show.

i'm getting a little sleepy
perched cautiously high in my tree
i get down and go inside now
still thinking of who i can never truly be.

Song I Wrote--Really Bad

if i could fly
i'd fly away from here
i'd fly into the sky
the wind would wash away my tears

if i could fall
i'd fall right into you
forget the consequences
cause i can do what i want to do

i don't know
if this is right
i don't care
i just want you to hold me tight
i can tell
that this isn't the way that it's meant to be
again i don't care
just keep holding me

if i could float
i'd float up to the stars
don't worry i'd take you with me
we'd make a life together on mars

if i could faint
i'd faint straight dead away
i'd faint into your arms
because i know that would make you stay

and i don't know
if this is right
i don't care
i just want you to hold me tight
i can tell
that this isn't the way that it's meant to be
again i don't care
just keep holding me

if i could...

Fine

the finest piece of wisdom i've ever heard:
"Love said, 'Lie still and think of me'. Sleep said, 'Close your eyes till break of day'. But Dreams came by, and smilingly gave both to Love and Sleep their way." Sara Teasdale

Can't Help It

once upon a time there was a girl
all my stories are about girls
and she was ugly
all my stories are about ugly girls
and she was troubled
all my stories are about ugly troubled girls
well
one day this girl went walking
all my stories have girls walking
and she came across fairyworld
all my stories have girls discovering fairyworld
and there was a beautiful lake there
sound familiar to you
no
it will
and this girl began to drown
but this time something different happened
this girl rose up into the sky
like magic
and she didn't drown
she was dropped onto a branch of a tree
and she was clinging with all her might so she wouldn't fall
but she fell because she was weak
and she drowned anyway
all my stories have girls drowning
in their own
fears
doubts
hopes
dreams
prayers
wishes
feelings
thoughts
i could go one forever because
girls are complex
especially girls who are destined to drown

Piece Of Wisdom Courtesy Of Moi

knowing that i deserve what i'm getting
doesn't make it easier to bear

Done

FINISHED
MY
COMIC
BOOK
SO
FRICKIN
EXCITED
!!!!!
!!!!
!!!
!!
!

Fear

somebody told me today that i wasn't scary
i want to be scary
i want to strike fear into the hearts of lesser beings
and greater beings as well
i want to be powerful
i want to rule myself
and those i love
and those i hate
i would be good at it
scary powerful both good things
but as somebody famous whose name escapes me once said
with great power comes great responsibility
and i've got MORE than enough responsibility right now as it is
so i think i'll hold off on scaryfying myself
for the moment
but reader beware for i will return
bigger and badder than before
watch your back
and watch out
now do you think i'm scary
lie to me
it'll make me feel better about myself

Stupid

home sick
again
i'm a mess
i hate midterms
they're ruining my life
and i hate being me
it's ruining my life too

Vermontian Friends

why do all of you in vermont like me
i don't even know you
it makes me feel good inside
warm and bubbly and
cool
being liked
it's a nice feeling to have

Fuzzy Blue Socks

i am wearing
fuzzy blue socks
and they are hard to walk in
because they are slippery
i fell
on the carpet
it made me sad